Home » Miss April Advises » Miss April Advises: #1 Fan, Christmas Present .

Miss April Advises: #1 Fan, Christmas Present .

Dear Miss April,

few months back i got a new friend. one of my clients at work. A smart engineer, in his fourties. He gives you a serious first impression but as you get to know him, you soon realise he is a fun, social seeetheart. He’s preety cool and i am crazy about his friend !

so recently we met after holidays and he gives me a gift, โ€œjust a christmas giftโ€ (he describes) actually a misunderstanding because my colleague/best friend at work got him a present and he thought it was me when i cleared things… was too late, he had given me the gift already… A beautiful enormous red heart, some sort of pillow he bought back home and nicely packed.

heartwarming, i hardly get gifts ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Now afcourse i have to give something in return… no surprise here, i dont know what to give.

thinking i have this really cool electronic cigar with nice flavours to go along.(no tobacco)

and i went to ask him. our convo…

Do you smoke? he replied no.
me: Because you can’t or you dont want to? He says: just never been curious, i smoke yes but not tobacco,why?He asks. I said: Because i have something really nice i want you to try. That def made him curious. he kept asking about it all day long ๐Ÿ˜€ but i never gave him in time because he travelled.

He is coming back soon and now i have to choose, i either give him the electronic cigar or a pen (that might be expensive)

my friends say an electronic cigar is not an appropriate gift for a non smoker but i keep on insisting with this because it will save me less i dont have to buy it ๐Ÿ™‚ and I dont think the electronic cigar will hook him up but i also dont want to look like someone who offers things that can be addictive. electronic cigar is safe for me atleast. Oh and I also want to make an awesome impression in his friend with the gift.

Ok my dear miss salvation, help me decide please ? whats your opinion with the electronic cigar ? if its a no then any other ideas …

regards,

your #1 fan xoxo

images

Dear Dearest of Dears,

I do declare, I am beginning to know you. Yet, I do not know thine age. What year are you in, my dear? I hear many readers now cry out – what oft this? How does age matter? Well, I’m of the belief that usually the people who claim “age is no matter” are much older men justifying undeclared dalliances. I bring this up because your attention falls upon a man in his forties. Of such a mature age, is he not married? Committed? I say to you, if he is, why on earth is he handing out heart shaped pillows? (I mean apart from learning seduction techniques from the Sweet Valley High series with a babysitter fetish).

If he is not betrothed, in his forties and a sophisticated, connected man of the world, how on earth does he think such a gift would win someone over?

Enough of your coquettishness. Do not prevaricate around the bush. If you are desirous of presenting a gift of an electronic cigar (what on earth is this?) or a pen, why not go all out and just get a penis shaped bottle opener? Does phallic symbolism mean nothing anymore? Forgive me for my maternal extinct, but my suggestion is gift him with a fire extinguisher and expunge this ill-fated dalliance before it has time to engulf everyone around it.

You are bored. You need to get a better hobby then dull old men. With best wishes for your happiness,
Yours,
Miss April

PS. True friends don’t fuck around with ridiculous gifts.

Heed Miss April’s Advice!

Unburden your woes, share your troubles, correspond with Miss April here! Shh, confidentiality assured!! You can Tweet Miss April and like her on Facebook!

3 thoughts on “Miss April Advises: #1 Fan, Christmas Present .

  1. thank you, but really we are just friends, i dont mind having a 40 year old friend, im 25 btw. i must admit though the heart shaped gift was a bit silly.

    but i dont think you really got me in this one. let me just say again this is all to make a nice impression for his friend because i I am crazy about his friend this young amazing guy i keep tryin to impress ๐Ÿ˜‰ thanks for ur help ๐Ÿ™‚

    • My sincerest apologies for overlooking your true issue – I have failed you! Little did I realise the more complex implications of your situation, you are quite the strategist. So, ‘friend of friend’ is on your mind and you wish to impress him with a gift to his 40 man friend. Goodness! I do suspect though that your eagerness to connect to ‘f of f’ has caused you to overlook one glaring danger – misunderstanding of your intentions. Believe me #1, 40 year old men do not distribute heart-shaped cushions willy-nilly. My advice to you is to avoid any gift that requires oral participation – no e-cigarettes – not only because he doesn’t smoke, but because we do not want him thinking of you whenever he puts it into his mouth. If he has a partner or family, present him with a lovely token gift to be enjoyed by the whole kin – a box of lovely treats perhaps. If he is single, how about a book – definitely non-fiction. Something that shows you are considerate, not interested romantically, respects his family / or a respect for intellectual pursuits, and definitely shows his friend (your true object) that you are not the frivolous flirtatious type. Ta ta! Miss A.

  2. Thank you and i have to agree with you, i did overlook certain things. thats it, enough of this coquettishness !! hell its quite tough to hear from you but you keep saving my ass so thanks again miss A. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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