Dear Miss April,
In regard to premarital sex, I quite like it and I have it often.
In your opinion what is the best kind?
Dear Frequent Fornicator
I understand that my old-fashioned sensibilities may incite a few surreptitiously stifled giggles in this enlightened age. But I am well aware that the world has changed somewhat since my girlhood days, and the answers to social mores are no longer found within the pages of Ms Austen. However, I pride myself in stepping out of my comfort zone when tackling the range of problems and requests for advice throughout the course of my vocation.
Mr F., if I may be so bold as to assume gender. My opinion as to what is the best kind of premarital sex, calling upon logic and reason, I would say, that kind between two unmarried people.
I would go further and offer this advice. If you are so pleased with your current status I suggest you remain unmarried, thereby ensuring whenever you are so graced by a lover’s attention and their intimate embrace, you can be content in the knowledge that it is of your most favoured kind.
Be well and true,
yours in good faith,